With a deadline looming, you make a request, “hey, (insert name), I need a report on new ice cream flavors (or whatever you do, but we hope it’s that) by Friday at 1pm. Thanks.” Your well-intentioned employee writes the report….aaaaaaaand it completely misses the mark. What happened??? You thought you were clear and they were capable. Not only do you have to deliver the news that the work was subpar and unacceptable, but the report your team owed your boss will now be late. Ugh. Feedback is tricky. You don’t want to look like a jerk, you don’t want your employee to shut down and silently resent the world. It will feel like a no-win situation…until you find the right WORDS.

Saying nothing will solve exactly…nothing. You still have a useless report in your hands, and chances are, it’ll happen again because your employee has no reason to think anything was wrong with their performance. Saying nothing will come back to haunt you.

“This report sucks!” “What were you thinking?”

“I thought you could do it, but I’ll ask Joann to clean this up.”

All of the above are tempting, and probably what you’re thinking…but saying those things out loud isn’t constructive, and they’ll put you on the path to alienating your employee. That, like saying nothing, will only lead to disengagement.

“Let’s take it from the top. Tell me about the approach you took.”

“Were my instructions about the assignment clear?”

“I took a look, and some adjustments need to be made. Please prioritize this report and make the following 4 changes by Friday 2pm.”

Final Word:

Be specific and direct.

It’s easy to place blame on the other person’s talents (or lack thereof), but do a self-check before handing them your copy of Excel for Dummies. Were the directions specific enough? Was the task communicated clearly? Did they have the tools or training they needed? Use questions to get at their understanding like “How will you tackle this?”. Likewise, invite them to ask you questions (preferably sooner rather than later). Use objective facts (data) to help you (and them) avoid the blame game. Create an opportunity for conversation. Be specific and objective with feedback to ensure your employee has all the information they need to go forward and improve. Explain the Why and the How. After all, the whole point of feedback is to improve performance and enhance a career (or a life) … which benefits everyone.

“Cancel Culture” is our anti-vibe. These days, many humans are afraid to say anything out of fear of saying the wrong thing. …and that is moving us further apart instead of closer together. We believe most humans are imperfect beings who learn through honest conversations with others. Well… most of us do [sigh]. We understand that people have diverse perspectives on many things. That is all the more reason to approach most discussions with curiosity, empathy, and an open mind rather than dismissing opposing viewpoints outright.

Each week, The Words newsletter is curated by a staff of imperfect humans who have chosen the wrong words plenty of times. More importantly, by surrounding ourselves with humans who have been patient, empathic, educational, equally curious and unconditionally forgiving, we have had even more opportunities to get it a little more right. Let’s learn together. Who’s in?