New Year, New Me, wait…what?? 

How to introduce your new routine at the office.

Vol. 1 Ed. 1

It’s January and you’ve thoughtfully crafted your New Year’s Resolutions. A couple of them might require some explanation and could definitely benefit from some collegial support. Are you making room for a new fitness routine? Do you want to shorten your meetings to 25 and 50 minutes to allow you more time to post meeting notes or simply take a quick break between meetings? Have you made a commitment to eat dinner with your family at least one more time each week? Did “get more sleep” finally make the list and thus you won’t be responding to emails past 8pm? Change is hard and it doesn’t matter if you’re the one changing or being changed on (an adapted Ted Lasso-ism).

You could start the year and implement your work resolutions with a “It’s nobody’s business but mine” indignant cry. But honestly, that might not be the most effective or efficient way to introduce the new you …or a new choice. If you have always worked through lunch, if you have sent and responded to emails well into the wee hours, and if you know each of the night cleaning crew members by name, A.K.A “late office leaver”, you have conditioned those around you to react accordingly. They will continue to schedule meetings over lunch (and get angry when you decline or don’t show). They will expect you to respond to non-urgent questions late at night (and get frustrated with your radio silence). They will stop by your office for your typical end of day catch up (and wonder why you’re packing up so early (5:45pm). No. Can. Do.

See thoughts above. The Wrong Thing to say is…well…to say nothing. Most people will be willing to meet your expectations. They simply need to know what they are.

If you are the only one keeping you at the office so late or if you are the one defaulting on your exercise routine, chances are that no one will miss you as you engage in an occasional shorter workday or if you leave during lunchtime for a spin class. If a change in your routine will be noticed, try something like this:

“Hey there, just FYI, I’ve committed to go for a run from Noon-1pm, 3 days a week. I’ve already blocked my calendar for those times. I know I sometimes eat with you guys [or meet, or review your report, or whateva’] but this is important to me. Thanks for your support and if you’re up for a run sometime, I’d love the company.” Or

“Team, in an effort to maximize our meeting time and give us a buffer between our other commitments, I’m changing our team meetings to 50-minutes vs. our typical 1-hour. This means we will need to start and end on time and everyone will need to commit to coming fully prepared and ready to engage. If we can do that, I think that extra 10 minutes we get back will pay dividends!” Or

“Team, over the holidays I had a chance to reflect on the pace I kept last year. I’ve decided to make a couple changes in 2024. I will no longer respond to email after 8pm. If an urgent situation arises, please text me. Urgent to me means [insert dire emergency example here]. If I happen to send an email after 8pm, I will not expect a response from you until your work hours (unless previously agreed upon). This change will be good for me and I hope good for you, too.”

The global nature of some jobs has us working around the clock. The spirit of these words is to set a boundary, communicate it to those who need to know, and manage expectations accordingly. You’ve got this!

"When scientists analyze people who appear to have tremendous self-control, it turns out those individuals aren’t all that different from those who are struggling. Instead, ‘disciplined' people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control."

James Clear, Author, Atomic Habits

“Negative or unsupportive people can sabotage a goal; in contrast, social support can add elements of accountability and inspiration to help maintain resolutions. The way others help with goals is either by doing it with you — it’s teamwork, and many of our important goals are teamwork [work, family]. Other times it’s completing your individual goals in the presence of others.”

Ayelet Fishbach, Professor of Behavioral Science and Marketing at University of Chicago Booth School of Business, Chicago Tribune

“To get better at saying no, practicing saying it out loud — either alone, behind closed doors, or with a trusted friend or colleague. Listen to yourself. Your tone should be clear and your demeanor diplomatic. You want to say no in a way that makes people respect you. Saying no is a skill you can learn, and eventually it’ll become easier. Think of all the people who have to say no for a living — lawyers, cops, referees, judges. They do it with dignity. They own what they’re saying. And they are accountable for it regardless of strong feelings on both sides.”

Holly Weeks, author, Failure to Communicate

Don’t stop now! Learn more from a few of our personal favs below:

“Cancel Culture” is our anti-vibe. These days, many humans are afraid to say anything out of fear of saying the wrong thing. …and that is moving us further apart instead of closer together. We believe most humans are imperfect beings who learn through honest conversations with others. Well… most of us do [sigh]. We understand that people have diverse perspectives on many things. That is all the more reason to approach most discussions with curiosity, empathy, and an open mind rather than dismissing opposing viewpoints outright.

Each week, The Words newsletter is curated by a staff of imperfect humans who have chosen the wrong words plenty of times. More importantly, by surrounding ourselves with humans who have been patient, empathic, educational, equally curious and unconditionally forgiving, we have had even more opportunities to get it a little more right. Let’s learn together. Who’s in?

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