It’s the weekend and you’re indulging in a bit of social media scrolling. You happen upon a website showcasing the intergenerational mentoring known as Gentelligence. It’s the practice of different generations not only sharing their wisdom but proactively leveraging it to support individual and organizational success.

For the first time in history, there are five generations in the workplace. Indeed, Gentelligence could be a superpower for those who choose to have it.

• Traditionalists—born 1925 to 1945

• Baby Boomers—born 1946 to 1964

• Generation X—born 1965 to 1980

• Millennials—born 1981 to 2000

• Generation Z—born 2001 to 2020

Now reflect on any kerfuffles you’ve witnessed amongst them. [For extra points, guess the Gen who made “kerfuffle” popular?) A few examples to get you started:

• Gen Z: “Can I tell a messy coworker to mind their business and stay the bleep out of my lane?”

• Gen X: “Oooh, probably not without inviting a spicy meeting with HR. Try this instead~ ‘Let’s focus on our respective tasks’ or ‘Thank you for your interest, but I’ve got it covered.’”

• Gen X: “Geez, I think he really Jumped the Shark with that one.”

• Gen Z: “Er, jumped-the-what now?”

• Gen X: “You know The Fonz… Happy Days…the one where he… [sigh] Nevermind.”

Sadly, your scrolling gets interrupted by the memory of Friday’s meeting with your own members of Gen X (aka Xavier) and Gen Z (aka Zoe). GenZoe finds GenXavier to be ultra controlling and stuck in a rut of resistance in the name of cautious continuity. GenXavier is equally frustrated by GenZoe, viewing her as a novice who expects executive treatment 18 months out of college. The criticisms don’t stop there. GenZoe is offended by GenXavier’s comments about a decline in the team’s professional appearance and GenXavier is annoyed by GenZoe’s mocking of a recent request for tech help that “could’ve been a Google search instead of a Reply All.” These two are light years away from any type of intergenerational mentoring; in fact, they’re stuck in the sting of scathing stereotypes based on the number of candles on their last birthday cake. How can a well-intentioned Manager win the war for talent when this battle has you deep in the trenches with no end in sight?

When intergenerational communication flounders, the cause is most likely to be about communication and expectations. Friction between the generations goes deeper than differences in work attire, collective emails, or how many hours one has to work to be considered productive. Each generational group operates with a specific set of values and approaches to the workplace. A silent assumption that these values aren’t worthy of acknowledgement or analysis is profoundly short sighted. There is an authentic disconnect in your team right now and if they could work it out, without your intervention, they would. Bring your Gentelligence forward and help them to get curious about each other’s stories and listen for common ground.

Telling a Baby Boomer that a tech challenge is “easy” or that a Gen Zer’s suggestion during a team meeting is a “rookie mistake” invalidates a valid request or a potentially positive contribution. Baby Boomers and Gen Xers remember snail mail, faxes, and traditional top-down org structures. Beware of language that suggests you had it worse or echoes, “Kids today expect a trophy just for showing up.” Gen Z entered the workplace as a global pandemic took hold. That said, starting your work experience with freedom and autonomy doesn’t give you license to label all authority as tyranny. Generational generalizations suit no one: they favor prejudice, not progress.

The better thing begins with curiosity. If you’re a millennial, chances are you had a mentor and you entered the workplace with opportunities to acquire what have been referred to as “soft skills.” What if GenXavier asked GenZoe what she liked about remote work or what is challenging about working on site (and was authentically engaged in the response)? What if instead of judging GenZoe’s frequent PTO requests, you considered how isolation impacted her professional growth? What if GenZoe was inquisitive about GenXavier’s first few years in the workplace prior to casual Fridays, supportive family leave, and more collaborative work cultures? A little curiosity turns perceived quirks into workplace catalysts. Other questions to spark a cross-Gen Q & A:

1. "What is a common misconception about your generation in the workplace that you'd like to dispel?"

2. "What is a skill or perspective you admire in another generation, and why?"

3. “What is the most unusual [different, curious, misunderstood] behavior you’ve seen members of my generation do or say?”

4. "What is the most significant technological change you've experienced in your career, and how did it impact your work?"

5. "How do you prefer to receive feedback?" “How do you tend to give feedback?”

6. "What does work-life balance look like to you? How has that evolved throughout your career?"

Gentelligence turns generational gaps into golden opportunities. It's the alchemy of blending time-tested wisdom with fresh perspectives and creative collaboration. With just a tiny bit of wondering, team members will transform potential friction into productive fusion.